Here's to the last of Jasmine's Low-budget But Still Exciting And Not Too Overwhelming Monday Adventures

Spring Break.
If I think back to all of my spring breaks, none have ever gotten close to the standards set by MTV. (Yeah, I had cable until the 7th grade. I know what goes on in Ft. Lauderdale.) My first spring break in college, I drove up to the bay with a group of other do-gooders to volunteer and learn about the "justices": environmental justice, food justice, social justice, and the list goes on. It didn't change my life (as you can tell, I'm not dedicating my twenties working for a non-profit), but it was still interesting. I think we started a community garden behind a charter school and removed invasive species from some piece of conserved land. It's as though the need to impress admissions counselors was engrained in my bones. You got in already; just stop.

I had to dig deep through the Facebook trove for these.

Aw, look at 19-year-old Jasmine.

So eager to change the world, one weed at a time.

While all my friends are now leading real adult lives, in which spring breaks do not exist, I am again facing the question, "What should I do with this one random week that will do little to refresh my work ethic and only leave me disgruntled that I got a taste of freedom only to have it snatched away?"

I set aside Monday for my final adventure, Friday I will be leaving for Portland, and the rest of the days I'll be stuck in the back of a Walgreens trying not to get in the techs' ways as a bajillion customers demand their prescriptions.

Eagle Point Labyrinth was on on the thrillist, "Secret things in SF you didn't know about," that inspired most of my Monday adventures. I had planned on visiting this place sooner, but the hike looked pretty daunting every time I google mapped it. Today I finally put on my Nikes, filled up my water bottle, and headed out.

The 18 drops you off at the Legion of Honor. (Probably the coolest name for a museum.)

I'll be back for you Legion of Honor.

Don't let the golf course fool you. Just keep walking along the greens and you'll get to the start of the trail. If you swing a right at the fork, you'll reach the labyrinth. A left will take you all the way to Sutro Baths ruins. I hit up the labyrinth first.

The walk to the labyrinth exceeds my descriptive abilities.

I think I had this huge silly grin on my face during the entire trek to the labyrinth, repeatedly exclaiming, "대~박!" (translation: holy smokes/awesome/woah/omg). I couldn't believe how beautiful Land's End trail is!  I talked to this lady for a portion of the hike, and she told me that she comes to the trail at least three times a week with her dog. What a life! That's what I want. A life that gives me time to go hiking in beautiful, peaceful places with my adorable russell terrier.

I didn't do much documenting at the labyrinth since a group of kids basically hogged the entire thing with their selfie sticks. Plus, it's a bunch of rocks arranged in a circle. Pretty self-explanatory.

It was okay. A lot smaller than I envisioned.

I thought I'd wait for a picture in the center.

But after 10 minutes of watching this couple attempt jumping shots, I gave up. 

I took a bunch of awesome panos.

If you need a new cover photo, let me know.

Next up was the Sutro Baths! To be honest, I wasn't planning on going there. But when I got back to the fork in the road, I thought about my upcoming quarter. Unless I become a changed person who time-manages like a boss, I probably won't be making it back to Land's End anytime soon. Might as well!

I met a cute chihuhua named Apple on the trail to Sutro Baths. No picture. Just fyi.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sutro_Baths

Panos for days

Hi! Wish you were here!

I wish I had more to say about the Sutro Baths. But it was just effin' awesome. I can't wait to go back. With my russell terrier. 

I walked a lot today. 

I felt no guilt as I ate a dinner-for-3 as my lunch.

It wasn't a great quarter. Time flew by. Not in the "I'm having so much fun" way, but in the "Oh shit, what was all that? How do I retain all of this?" way. I struggled with some personal stuff as I tried to make sense of relationships, friendships, and "networks." I had been nestled in this comfortable bubble, surrounded by people who loved me because they had to (by blood or 10+ years of friendship) for 3 good years. The coping mechanisms that I had leaned on were no longer relevant and I stumbled every now and then trying to devise new ones to deal with the stress. I still don't have it down and get worried when I think of all the upcoming changes that I'm not prepared for. 

But I think I'm fairly resilient. I've gotten through shit in the past, and I'm sure I can make it through shit in the present. There will just be a lot of melodramatic complaining along the way. Sorry (and thank you) family and friends. 

At the beginning of the year, one professor gave a lecture on how we should all try to be a "rainbow." (Optimists who can see the silver lining in all situations -- I didn't think they existed, but they do! I've met a couple, and they amaze me.) I can't promise Rainbow Jasmine by the next time you see me, but I'll definitely try to adopt more of this rainbow philosophy in my life. Because everyone hates Negative Nancy. Like, we'll all take her shit for a little while. But eventually, you're just like, "Shut up, Nancy." 

Wind always gettin' in the way of my selfies.

But I persist. With the help of Camera 360.

Spontaneity at its craziest

I had a mental/emotional breakdown last Thursday night.
(I like to be dramatic.)

It was more like a mini-breakdown, a brief lapse in logical decision-making, that led to driving down to So Cal at 4 A.M. The trigger was a combination of pent-up frustration (about school and relationships) and snapchat. Seeing people go out on a Thursday night while I sat and stared at a course reader in a booth that smelled of stale coffee and what I suspect to be hobo-urine? Who wouldn't snap?

I initially just gave up on studying, shoved everything into my backpack, and drove home. But when I pulled up to my driveway and thought of having to move my roommate's car and climb the stairs on tip toes so I don't wake the downstairs neighbors, a small voice in my head said, "You know, if you start driving now, you'll be home sweet home in 7 hours! Just in time for brunch." I decided that this small voice knew its shit, shifted into reverse, and backed up and onto the freeway. (More like: backed up, went to the cheapest gas station in the city -- Divisadero and Fell, fyi -- then drove 10 more minutes to the freeway.)

Three hours in, I had overplayed my limited iTunes playlist and started to wonder if I was making a huge mistake. 'Finals start Monday. Should I really be driving 7 hours while all of my classmates are mastering their cranial nerves?' I looked around, saw that I was in cow country with no U-turns, and squashed those doubts. Having left in such a hurry, I didn't bother packing anything for the road, let alone clothes/makeup for my weekend home. In my backpacks, I only had a small bag of fruit snacks and my half-full water bottle, which I rationed during the trip (one fruit snack every hour). I made one stop on the drive down, at a gas station off the 210, in order to fill up just enough to make it home and empty my about-to-burst bladder.

I called my mom as I pulled into my driveway.
"Hi Mom! Open the garage!"
(in the midst of brushing her teeth): "Why? Are you here?" .... (garage opens) .... "Oh my god. You're here."
"I quit school!"

That's enough about the trip down.
I want to talk about the realizations I had during this spontaneous mental-vacation.

(Shit's about to get serious. So stop reading if you don't have time to sit through the incoherent jumble of thoughts that is my brain).

I didn't arrive at these by myself.
Instead they came from two very different sources, one of whom was quite unexpected.

Realization number one was that I need to say "no" more.

I find humor in a lot of the odd situations in which I find myself, but I've unknowingly been frustrated and stressed out by most. I clearly have a people-pleaser tendency and my go-to response to most requests is, "Sure!" I think I'm usually happy about being able to help out, but there have been more times that I find myself asking, "Why in the world am I doing this?" I put myself in situations where I feel taken advantage of, but can't say anything since I voluntarily placed myself there. Solution? Take a stinking second to think before responding.

Second realization: "People come in and out of your life, and you'll find that some just don't fit. And that's okay."

Prejudices come from mankind's penchant for categorizing others. Perhaps that is why I struggle with being PC so much. I need categories for everything. When someone or something doesn't seem to fit into the equations that I've devised over my years of overcoming social awkwardness, I obsess. What can be fixed? How can I change? How can I prepare so the next encounter is better? (I've admitted this to most of my friends by now, but I used to create lists of talking points before hanging out with people, because I couldn't carry on a normal conversation for the life of me. This habit is probably why my conversations with you are so disjointed. I've developed this bad habit of jumping to a completely unrelated topic when I sense that the previous has run its course.) Instead of changing myself so I can hold onto a puzzle piece that won't ever fit, just learn to let it go.

I tried really hard to find a meme that would lighten the mood a bit. I thought Kevin Hart's "Do you, boo boo" meme might work since the lesson learned is how I need to grow some balls and just be myself. But I actually did some research and watched his bit, and didn't think it applied very well. Soooo yeah. The end.

What it's like to have cute friends

Back in January, I was having a bout of homesickness.
In the midst of a conversation about watches vs. purses (which is the more worthy investment?) and creating a fan club for her cute coworker (total membership: 2), Livia tells me she will be taking advantage of the Jet Blue sale to visit me in March. By the end of the day, she had set a date and recruited kbui and M&M.

(I'm using code names to protect your identities. You know, since I have so many readers and all.)

Friday night started off bumpy.
The original plan was to leave the banquet 30 minutes early so I can pull into SFO just as the girls got off their flight. However, the banquet ran late. I had underestimated the time it would take for group photos. It's never just one shot of everyone smiling. I forgot to consider the additional serious pose, cute pose, and goofy pose, all of which have to be repeated for every DSLR in the room.

After the final pictures were taken, I ran out of the banquet and through six blocks of Fisherman's Wharf as best as I could in my stilettos and gunned it to the airport. We then hurriedly got ready and uber'ed over to Polk Street.

Now, I always knew my friends were attractive. I brag about it a lot. New friends, any guy I've dated, and all of my coworkers have been forced to sit there as I flip through my facebook and point out each one. (There has never been a logical transition into this. Either I change the topic abruptly or I break the silence with, "Wanna see my friends?" I can't recall their responses, because I start logging in before they have the time to reply.)

Polk Street confirmed that I am not just blinded by my love for them.

It started off with a guy asking for a picture of the girls so that he can keep it on his phone. (He didn't get one). We then got whisked up to the section that was roped off (I'm guessing for the ladies who prefer not to be groped in the sausage fest that is Playland's dance floor). Until this point, I just thought "Man, I guess this bar is where all the extra-creepy guys hang out," and "Oh wow, the security guards here are really thoughtful.'

By the time we got to our 3rd or 4th stop, I noticed that the faces around us were starting to become more and more familiar. I realized that at each new bar, my friends had unknowingly recruited a group of guys that would continuously follow them to the next destination. At one point, I sat back on a bar stool to watch as one guy and his two wingmen tried to guess our age while two more groups patiently hovered nearby, waiting for the chance to squeeze in and say, "Oh what?? We run into each other again? It's like you're stalking us!" (None were particularly witty.)

Thank you girls for a memorable weekend full of good food and fun. I don't know who else would patiently go along as I drag them around the city for food (dim sum in Inner Richmond, donuts in the Marina, egg tarts in Chinatown, San Tung in Inner Sunset, and finally banana cream pie in Berkeley - all in one day).

I waited in line for this dan tat for 1 hour.

Passive aggressive nice girl language

"It's the thought that counts."

This statement is typically used in a good way, to reassure someone who couldn't give you/someone else the perfect gift. It's the kindness of the act that matters... right?

Not when this phrase is part of an exchange between two passive aggressive nice girls.

Girl A's birthday is today.
Girl B isn't TOO close with her but feels obligated to get her a present since they've hung out on more than one occasion. Plus, she's been invited to the birthday party, but can't make it... because she doesn't want to. She goes to Target and puts a small package together: a couple of brand name chocolates, some gummies, one of those cute hand sanitizers with those cartoon germs drawn on it, and two bottles of nail polish in complementing colors. It's not much, but it's wrapped nicely in a gold-polka-dot gift bag with matching tissue paper. Total cost: around the same as, if not a bit more than, the amount Girl A spent during Girl B's birthday dinner.

Girl A, upon receiving the present: "Awwwww! You shouldn't have!"
Girl B: "Oh! It's really not much! I don't even know if you'll like it."
Girl A then opens her present: "Aw, it's the thought that counts."

... beezy hates her gift!

Now, for those of you who aren't well-versed in passive aggressive nice girl language (so... my 2 male readers), you may be thinking, "How did you jump to that conclusion?" This could seem like an appropriate response, perhaps even a kind-hearted one.
NOPE.
In this world, even if you hate a gift, it's a gift. Say you love it, or at least muster a "awwww, I like it!" If you're willing to break this unspoken rule, you might as well cringe noticeably and ask, "Wtf is this?"

So, you wanna know, "When IS it appropriate to use this phrase?"

Girl B and Girl C are buying presents for Girl A.
Girl C has no idea what to get her and resorts to a gift card.
Girl C may complain, "I have no idea what to get her! She's probably going to hate my gift."
Girl B can then say, "No she won't. Plus, it's the thought that counts."
(If Girl B then adds a small white lie about how her present is also whatever, even better.)

I miss my friends of 12 years and our (relatively) straightforward interactions:
Birthday presents? We use elfster. Stick to the list and there will be no complaints.
Birthday celebrations? Dinner at a nice restaurant. Everyone pays for his/her own meal.
Can't make dinner? You better have a good excuse and post it on the group wall.
<3 <3

Donuts? Donuts.

It's not Monday. It's Sunday.
But I have to tell you something.
It has to do with donuts.

I have set aside next weekend completely for the girls (you have no idea how happy I am to see you guys!). Meaning, this weekend, I study.

But, I have the attention span of a five-year-old, so I have to reward myself here and there to keep going. Saturday, I ventured to SoMa's StrEat Food Park to try a new food truck (lomo saltado from anywhere other than Mario's? never again...) and picked up a Mocha Tesora from Philz to help me power through. (And power through I did! Til 5AM!)

As I drove home this morning from the study hall, I started brainstorming for how I could treat myself to work just as hard today. And that's when it hit me. It was finally time to try Dynamo Donuts.

Sunday, 11AM, I pull onto Yacht Rd. and park.
From far away, I see that the sign is out and start running to the window.

"Make it a bacon donut day!"

This lady took the last chocolate star anise. 

It's okay, I took the last passion fruit milk chocolate.

On the menu were: caffeinated crunch, meyer lemon huckleberry, passion fruit milk chocolate, cornmeal rosemary cherry, lemon thyme, maple glazed bacon apple (THIS! MUST GET THIS!), I'm not a gluten donut, chocolate star anise, Simpson's D'oh Nuts...

I purchased: caffeinated crunch, passionfruit milk chocolate, maple glazed bacon apple, and Simpson's D'oh Nut. (clockwise below)

                                                                       

I'm not good at describing food, so I will just stick to "Yes," "No," and "Only if you want to try something interesting."

Caffeinated crunch: No. Don't ask questions. Just don't get it. You're spending $3 on a donut here. We don't have time for this nonsense.
Passionfruit milk chocolate: Only if you want to try something interesting. It's sweet and it's tarty. It's interesting.
Maple glazed bacon apple: YES. The donut is soft, the maple glaze is sweet, the bacon bits are crunchy, and it's overall heavenly. What about the apple? I don't know. It was MIA on my tastebuds.
Simpson's D'Oh Nut: Yep. It's a solid donut. Homer would approve.

Satisfaction.

After a triumphant morning/afternoon, I headed straight to the study hall and cracked down. I faltered once (due to only getting 4 hours of sleep) and took a quick nap in an empty conference room. It was a sad sight. Had the security guard entered the room during his patrol instead of watching Youtube videos downstairs, he probably would have been convinced that a homeless woman had snuck into the building and crafted a surprisingly sturdy makeshift bed out of roll-y chairs.

Hello diabetes.